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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28122402">Toss me in the deep end (I'll learn how to swim)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonBitch/pseuds/CrimsonBitch'>CrimsonBitch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abusive Dursley Family (Harry Potter), Angst, Auror Harry Potter, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Food Issues, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Harry Potter Thinks Draco Malfoy is Up to Something, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Redeemed Draco Malfoy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:10:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,195</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28122402</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonBitch/pseuds/CrimsonBitch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Seven years after the war ended, Harry and Draco are reunited in an oddly mundane twist of fate.</p><p>Somewhere between the half-brewed cups of tea and the difficult conversations that follow, they both learn that emotional baggage feels much lighter when you've got someone willing to help you carry it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>83</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
  <span>For all the light stalking and obsessive following that had taken place in sixth year, Harry can happily say that he has thought about Draco scarcely (if ever) in the seven years since the war ended.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>      At first, he thought about him constantly; where he had disappeared to, never showing his face again after the trials. It wasn’t until Ron and Hermione hinted that he had ulterior motives for his constant rants that he shut up about the blonde boy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Malfoy had always lit a fire in Harry’s blood, but over time the thought of his became a dull whine in the back of his head that had been reduced to practically nothing. Besides, he was too busy with his duties as a Senior Auror to think about practically anything else these days. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Molly called him a hermit workaholic, and he was inclined to agree. Then again, he was the savior of the wizarding world after all. If he wasn’t helping people, he was nothing but a skinny boy locked in a cupboard once again, was he? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     It was this unshakeable dedication to his auror work that brought the boys back together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Harry was spacing out at his desk on a sunny day in mid September when Cho Chang busted in the door, frantic and out of breath. Of all the people Harry would have expected to end up working with at the top Auror department in London, Cho wouldn’t have been it, but the sharp-minded, cool blooded Ravenclaw had proven to balance out Harry’s self-destructive Gryffindor impulsiveness tremendously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “We gotta go Harry. Someone set fire to the London Wizard’s Home, and spray painted a bunch of pureblood <em>goddamn</em> hate speech all over the outside of the building”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Harry was out of his chair before she was done. The London Wizard’s Home was a shelter for Muggle-borns who had been rejected and kicked out by their families. It was owned and run anonymously but had close ties to Hogwarts, providing a steady stream of promising new students. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Harry, along with the rest of the department was fiercely protective of this establishment, appreciating the non-profit work they did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the way to the scene, Cho showed Harry pictures of some of the fire damage, as well as the disgusting bigoted retirict that had been written on the walls. When they finally apparated to the secluded woods outside London where the house was located, the scene was already swarming with Aurors, as well as employees and kids from the shelter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Harry spotted a group of young trainees from his department, listening intently to a figure with his back turned to Harry. The hum in the back of his head intensified upon seeing this figure’s ghostly pale hair and long, lean body clothed in modest but flattering black clothes. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>     No fuckin way. I bet he thinks he’s gonna get away with it too. I knew he couldn’t change. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>     Harry stalked over to the group, harshly grabbing the man’s wrist and spinning him around. His suspicions were confirmed when he was met with the same grey eyes and pointy nose that had consumed his time at Hogwarts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Malfoy</span>
  </em>
  <span>” He snarled, pulling out his magic-blocking handcuffs, beginning to slap them on Draco’s wrists. “And to think, I had assumed a bloody </span>
  <em>
    <span>war</span>
  </em>
  <span> had changed you but no! Or course not! Fuckin Malfoy!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Um, Mr Potter-” One of the trainees cut-in with an anxious look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “And you!” Harry barked, rounding on the trainees, “I know you’re all new, but typically when you have a prime suspect on your hands, you don’t just let him walk fr-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Mr. Potter!” One of the bolder trainees hissed, “Mister Malfoy is not a suspect, he’s head caretaker at the bloody shelter!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Harry stopped in his movements. “He… what? The shelter is run anonymously” he says quietly. Malfoy straightened up, removing the unfinished handcuffs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Honestly Potter, I know you weren’t academically gifted but you </span>
  <em>
    <span>must </span>
  </em>
  <span>know what the word anonymously means” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Shut it, Malfoy,” Harry muttered, listening to the trainees rattle on about Malfoy starting work at the shelter mere weeks after the war, back when it functioned very closely to an orphanage. He was the one to actually implement the programs to teach the kids how to use their magic, earning him title of head caretaker. He had close relationships with all the kids there, although he made them swear his identity to secrecy outside of the house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Harry was shocked to say the least. If it wasn’t for the cold attitude radiating from the man standing next to him, Harry would think they were talking about someone else completely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Eventually the group thinned out, some of the trainees eager to actually do their jobs. Soon it was just Harry and Draco, still avoiding making eye contact with the other. Harry was the first to break the awkward silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Well I suppose this answers the question of what you’ve been up to since the war ended”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Certainly seems that way. Been thinking about me a lot, Potter?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Don’t flatter yourself Malfoy. Everyday I don’t picture your ugly mug is a win for me”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Ugly mug?” Draco smirked, “and I was just about to say these seven years have really treated you well” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Harry could feel the blood rising in his cheeks. “Shut it you prat. I still have a million questions”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Anything to see you blush, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Potter” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Malfoy leaned over and whispered in his ear. Harry scoffed and shoved him away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Running off now?" Draco drawled, "What happened to having more questions. Am I just that intimidatingly attractive?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Harry swallowed harshly. The burning under his skin was alight once again. Malfoy was nothing but a nuisance and an enemy during their time at Hogwarts, and Harry was ashamed to admit to himself how much he had missed their taunting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Unless Harry had a wand to his head, he would never admit in this moment that yes, Draco had gotten really goddamn hot since he’d seen him last. Hair gelled to perfection and dainty facial features twisted into a mean smirk, Draco looks like something out of one of Harry’s more indecent daydreams. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Fine, you wanna play that way then-” Harry started, before something caught his eye. A young boy, maybe six or seven, with caramel skin and dark brown hair came out of nowhere, and barreled into Draco, colliding with his legs and squeezing them in a tight embrace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Merlin, you scared me Nihir” Draco breathed, softer than Harry had ever heard him speak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Who’s this?” Harry asked, his voice losing most of the angry edge it had previously possessed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Nihir” Draco said, hoisting the boy up onto his hip, “Some of the strongest accidental magic I’ve ever seen. If only he’d stop knocking all my bloody books off the shelf, huh kid?” Draco smiled slyly, directing the question to the boy in his arms, who smiled bashfully and hid his face in Draco’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     "Nice to meet you, Nihir” Harry uttered, shocked by the dramatic shift in Draco’s behavior as soon as one of the kids was there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “I’ve got to sort this out with Auror Potter, so why don’t you go see Emilia, huh?” Draco asked the boy, who nodded and ran off to an older girl, who picked him up and shot Draco an uneasy glance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “We’ve got more than enough donations to fix the damage” Draco slipped back into his previously inhospitable tone, “I’m more concerned with catching the fucking bastard who did this” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Harry felt like he had suffered whiplash from the many attitudes Draco's </span>
  <span>cycled through in the course of this conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “I think Cho is actually going to head up the investigation. I tagged along in case they needed protection” Harry confessed lamely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Well in that case I suppose I ought to go and talk to Auror Chang, then, shouldn’t I?” Draco said, not actually moving. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Harry blinked, rushing to grab the man’s wrist when he turned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Let me take you out for coffee sometime” Harry exclaimed. Draco merely raised one perfectly shaped eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “It’s been seven bloody years” Harry followed, scratching his neck self-consciously, “You’ve clearly changed. I want to catch up”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Is that so Potter” Draco chewed the inside of his cheek, considering. “Well in that case I’d agree. I’d hate for you and the rest of the <em>Golden Trio</em> to think of me as who I was during the war” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Harry rolled his eyes but nodded, pulling a pen out of his pocket and gesturing for Draco’s hand. Hesitantly, Draco held it out and Harry scribbled his phone number on the inside of the paler boy’s palm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “You know we’re bloody wizards, right Potter?” Draco said with a flat look, wandlessly </span>
  <em>
    <span>Accio</span>
  </em>
  <span>-ing a sheet of paper, and writing his number on that, in turn giving it to Potter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Potter!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Cho shouted from somewhere across the field, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Come get a look at this!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Suppose that’s your cue” Draco said, his lips curling into a shy smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right- err.. I’ll just..” Harry said, backing up and immediately colliding with the girl from before, who couldn’t be older than thirteen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Watch where you’re going, Potter</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Said Draco and the girl synonymously, before </span>
  <span>sharing an exasperated look. Harry nodded resolutely and walked away, turning only to make a </span>
  <em>
    <span>call me</span>
  </em>
  <span> hand gesture to Draco, who rolled his eyes, but blushed slightly nonetheless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Coffee went well but Harry ended up totally missing a minorly-important work meeting, too enthralled with story after story that Draco had about the kids at the home. It wasn’t until after the third date that Harry told Ron and Hermione about his secret rendez-vous with the boy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Ron and Hermione shared a look, before poorly feigning surprise and congratulating Harry. It wasn’t until Harry brought Draco to the group's pub night that it sunk in. Harry was really going out with <em>Draco sodding Malfoy. </em>And arguably more shocking, was the realization that by the end of the night out, they were actually okay with it. He needed someone, after all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Hermione and him got on nearly straight away, and after a while Ron began to warm up to him as well. Harry hadn’t been seeing Draco all that long, but the sight of him joking with Harry’s closest friends in the world made something in his chest melt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Much to his dismay, in the mere month that they had been seeing each other, Harry had been able to picture a future with more than Auror work and pub nights and worried looks from Molly Weasley. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     He didn’t let himself get his hopes up just yet, but the rivalry between the boys had seemed to have matured into splendid chemistry and endless banter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     He didn’t let himself get his hopes up just yet, but if his daydreams were permeated with visions of pale hair and delicate hands winding their way into his own? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     Well, he didn’t think anybody really needed to know. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Not that Kind of Sick</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Draco is scared that he's going to scare Harry off only a month into the relationship. Harry is, quite frankly, a little offended that Draco thinks he's that much of a little b*tch.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>     Harry swallowed nervously as he stared at the off-white door in front of him. As much as he had thought this was gonna be a good idea, he was now second guessing himself. When he stopped by the shelter, looking to take Draco to a surprise dinner (as Draco had been strangely evasive in their texts recently), they had told Harry the man had called out sick for the past few days. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Upon hearing the surprising news, he had gone to the Muggle supermarket, picking up ingredients for soup, as well as some cold remedies and hot chocolate mix. At the time, he had pictured it to be the perfect romantic gesture to show Draco how he felt. Now, however… </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     What if you scare him off Harry? You’ve only been going out for a bloody month! </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     Merlin, you’re digging your own grave, Potter. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     Forever too much to handle. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry shook his head. He was a Gryffindoor, for Merlin’s sake! He wasn’t going to let his own insecurities stand in the way of caring for the other man. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     He lifted a fist, and hesitated before rapping on the door, quickly and loudly. When he didn’t get a response, he tried again, this time hearing a groan and a shuffle from inside the apartment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Draco? Are you in there?” Harry called out quietly. He didn’t want to cause a headache if the boy truly was sick enough to merit multiple days off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     As he was about to knock yet again, the door opened slowly, revealing a sight that Harry could hardly believe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco, in all his gracious pureblood glory, was stood in a grey hoodie and red checkered flannel pants with no shoes. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his hair puffed up in a flurry of sleep-rumpled curls around his head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Potter?” Draco murmured, rubbing his face, “What’s on Merlin’s green earth are you doing here?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry gaped at Draco for a moment more, before blurting out the first thing that came to his mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “You’ve got curly hair?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Oh- I-.. Not really. I mean it’s only like this because I’ve just woken up”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “It uh..” Harry trailed off, enchanted by how goddam </span>
  <em>
    <span>pretty</span>
  </em>
  <span> Draco looked, even when he looked a bit like death warmed over, “It looks good. Anyways, I tried to bring you out to dinner, but I was told you’re sick, so I’m bringing dinner to you!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco’s face crumpled a bit, and he seemed on-edge. Every second he didn’t respond, Harry could feel his original anxiety increase tenfold. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh Harry</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Draco breathed “You didn’t have to do that”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Sure, but I did” Harry said, only to be met with a minute of silence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I want to invite you in, but… my flat isn’t exactly up to it’s usual standard of cleanliness” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Oh please, you’re sick! Besides, summers at the Weasley house have </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> made me picky” Harry rambled as he brushed past Draco and set the bags down on the counter. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     It wasn’t Harry’s first time inside of Draco’s apartment, but typically he had only seen it in Draco’s preferred state of complete organization. Now, Harry saw a few dirty dishes piled in the sink, as well as half-full take-away boxes scattered around the flat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     The couch had a few pillows and blankets thrown on it, and it was clear Draco had been sleeping there before Harry showed up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Sheesh, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> sick if your apartment looks like this” Harry laughed, and Draco winced but mustered a small smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Right, well…” Harry said, digging into the bags, “What is it? A cold? Stomach ache? I assumed that if you hadn’t used a potion that you didn’t want one, so i’ve brought cough drops, tissues, vicks, and a couple other things.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco looked softly at him. “That’s.. awfully bloody nice Harry” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “So do you want any of it?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not… that kind of sickness” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Oh is it like a stomach thing? Because I-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “No, Harry” Draco cut him off, trying to figure out what to say next, “It’s more of a… personal thing” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “... Oh” Harry breathed, feeling a little hurt Draco chose not to share more details with him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “That came out badly” Draco murmured, dragging a hand down his face, “It’s not that I’m trying to hide anything from you or anything” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry nodded, expecting him to continue, but Draco just gazed at his feet. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Well anyways, I can help clean up a little” Harry said, moving towards the sink. Draco caught his wrist. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “No Harry you- you don’t have to do that” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Then what can I do?” Harry asked, exasperatedly</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “You and your bloody savior complex” Draco whispered “Harry there’s really nothing you can do for me. You can’t make me feel better” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Yeah but I can clea-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Listen Potter don’t you get it? I don’t want you here!” Draco raised his voice, “It’s only been a bloody month, okay? I don’t want you to see.. This side of me” His voice cracked and cut off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “</span>
  <em>
    <span>This side of you? </span>
  </em>
  <span>What are you on about?” Harry cried “I’m not looking to cure you or anything. I was just offering to do some dishes so you can get some fuckin’ rest! What’s wrong with you!?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Fine!” Draco shouted, “You wanna know what’s wrong with me? According to the mind healer? Severe PTSD that manifests as depression. And when it starts to get cold? As it does in November? I start to have flashbacks and nightmares about living in a freezing cold manor with none other than the fucking Dark Lord!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry didn’t realize he had been holding his breath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     Oh Draco...</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “And the reason,” Draco continued ranting, “that I didn’t tell you is because I foolishly thought that if I just never brought it up, I could avoid revealing that you’re dating a fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>nutter</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Draco, I-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “No, it’s okay Potter. I know your hero complex would never allow you to simply leave it be, so have this: You, genuinely and truly, cannot protect me from this. So go, Potter. I won’t be angry, and I’ll text when I’m feeling better. I don’t want this to fall on your shoulders” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco turned his back to Harry, hands braced on the kitchen counter and chest heaving. His outburst had clearly spent the most of his limited energy. Harry weighed his options for a moment, before pulling off his coat and throwing it on the couch. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Ten out of ten for effort” Harry muttered to Draco’s back, “Have you ever considered acting?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “What?” Draco ground out, his voice scratchy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry sighed to himself, before placing a light hand on Draco’s back and spinning him around gently. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I don’t care that we’ve only been going out for a month. I like you enough to know I want to do what I can to help you. I know I can’t magically cure you of that sort of thing, but I can still make you feel a tad bloody better”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco looked Harry up and down, before nodding shakily. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Yeah, okay” Harry nodded in return, a reassuring smile making its way to his face, “When’s the last time you ate?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I’m not completely sure, to be honest. I hardly have the energy to cook anything, and barely have an appetite at that”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “That’s okay,” Harry said as he brushed past Draco and into the kitchen, “Luckily I’ve got plenty of energy. And I’m not too shabby a cook”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco followed Harry, popping up to sit on one of the counters, while the raven-haired man moved about the kitchen, gathering ingredients. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against a cupboard, flinching when he felt something in his hair. He cracked an eye open to see Harry tugging on one of his curls. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I don’t get it. How have you hidden the fact that you have curly hair? Bloody curlier than mine, I reckon”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     "Gel, Potter. Some of us have images to uphold”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry jokingly whacked him upside the head. Soon enough, however, he was shoving a bowl of pasta into the blond man’s hands. Draco looked at the bowl and heaved a deep sigh. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Do you not like pasta? I can make sauce or-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “No- sorry. Pasta’s fine I just… I’m not hungry”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “That’s okay. I mean, you have to eat, but I’ll sit with you. C’mere” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry took Draco’s hand, and brought his to the couch. Harry sat crossed-legged and Draco slouched against the cushions. Draco mainly picked at the pasta, but he did take a few successful bites, and that was enough to placate Harry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Alright, you want anything else?” Harry nudged Draco’s thigh. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Honestly Potter, all I want to do is sleep. I do quite appreciate this, but I”m probably just gonna crash” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Okay, I could go for a nap” Harry nodded. Draco inhaled sharply. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I’m assuming” Harry started slowly, “That there’s a reason you seem to be crashing on the couch. I’m not gonna push you to talk about it, but if you want to, it might help” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Yeah” Draco swallowed dryly. Harry noticed his hands were shaking when he went to run them through his hair. Harry intercepted one of them, intertwining their fingers and running a soothing thumb over Draco’s dry knuckles. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Well when Vol- the Dark Lord was in the Manor” Draco started shakily, “It was quite hard to sleep, because it wasn’t uncommon that someone would burst in my room late at night. It was usually an accident, but sometimes they’d come in with a knife or something. I was kind of like a passive threat, and I’m sure He knew I saw it. After a while I just… couldn’t sleep in the Manor. That’s half the reason I moved away so quickly after the war.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>    “Malfoy I-” Harry stuttered. Sure, sleeping in a freezing forest was bad, but at least Ron and Hermoine hadn’t tried to kill him in his sleep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     He realizes now that he never really thought about what it must have been like sharing a living space with the Dark Lord. Maybe the two of them would discuss it someday, if Draco ever felt ready. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “It’s fine, most of the time. My bed and apartment are so different from the Manor that it’s pretty okay. When I’m not… feeling well, however, I tend to freak out a bit, and it becomes really bloody hard to sleep at all”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “That’s… surprisingly reasonable,” Harry nodded. Draco looked up with a curious look in his eye. “Not that it’s good, by any means” Harry rushed to say, “Just that given the history, it’s reasonable that you would have trouble sleeping” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Thanks for the sage words, Potter” Draco rolled his eyes, “Have you ever considered going into mind heal-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “What if I slept with you?” Harry cut in, ignoring Draco’s deflection. Draco blushed and spluttered a bit. “Not like that, you git,” Harry smiled, bumping Draco’s knee, “Just in the bed. Like do you think you’d be able to sleep better if I was there to protect you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Protect me</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Merlin Potter for someone who hates being called a hero, you do talk like one” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Quit deflecting, Malfoy. Let me help you, you defensive prat” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Fine” Draco sighed, “If it will help to stroke your massive savior complex, I’ll </span>
  <em>
    <span>allow</span>
  </em>
  <span> you to escort me to bed” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Well if there was any chance of this being remotely sexual, I believe you’ve just killed it” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I know you have the libido of a thirteen year old, but I likely wouldn’t be up for anything anyways” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I'm joking, Draco” Harry half-smiled, getting up off the couch and stretching out his legs. He reached out, pulling Draco off the couch as well. He could feel the taller boy’s hand shaking hard in his. Despite this, Draco followed Harry into the bedroom. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco stopped in the doorway, tugging on Harry’s hand lightly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I get nightmares” Draco blurted out, “Quite badly” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Me too” Harry responded simply. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry all but jumped onto the bed, starfishing all over the whole thing. He had expected to find Draco’s bed crisply made with hospital corners, but he was almost more thrilled to find a messy pile of sheets, blankets, and pillows that smelled of Draco’s deodorant and faintly of sweat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco sat lightly on the side of the bed, any energy that had been sustaining him throughout Harry’s visit draining immediately. Harry reached over, slinging and arm around Draco’s waist and pulling him onto the bed totally. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco went easily. He didn’t protest at all when Harry maneuvered his body to a position where Harry could rest his head on his chest. Harry looked up, and saw Draco staring intently at the ceiling. Harry sat up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “You… want to do this, right?” Harry started warily, “Because I’m really just trying to help. If you want to go to my apartment, or if you genuinely want me to leave I can g-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “It’s okay Potter. I do want you here” Draco conceded. “I’m not excited for you to see all my… jagged edges, if you will, but I suppose it’s better off that you see it now and make your decision”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Oh please. It’s not like anything in my life has ever been bloody normal. I’ll go toe to toe with you about fucked up shit any day of the week”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco was quiet for a moment. “That’s the thing Harry,” He said quietly, “Nothing in your life has ever been sane or rational, so I figured if I could just </span>
  <em>
    <span>push through</span>
  </em>
  <span> all of this, I could finally give you something </span>
  <em>
    <span>normal</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>easy</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but I suppose that’s simply too much to ask for from a bloody Death Eater who-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Hey” Harry frowned “That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about”. Draco shot him a withering look. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Seriously though,” Harry insisted, “You’re right, nothing’s ever been simple for me, but that means I’ll never be able to do ‘simple’. I’m not here with you because I think it’s normal or easy, but I know you’re worth it. I don’t want to be with someone who’s normal, I want to be with someone who’s worth the effort” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco’s eyebrows drew together, and his eyes had a suspicious gleam. “You’re really something, aren’t you Potter” He said wetly, dragging a hand down his face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “All I am right now is ready to sleep” Harry said. He sprawled out, mostly on top of Draco, who huffed out a laugh. Harry buried his face in Draco’s collarbone. Draco finally relaxed under Harry’s weight. He wound an arm over Harry’s waist, and let the other one drag repeatedly through Harry’s hair. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Thanks… for everything,” Draco whispered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Please,” Harry grinned, “I’m just scoring good boyfriend points for when you realize I’ve got my own host of issues. I’m basically a professional nutter.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right now, you seem more a professional body pillow” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “No, this is a hobby. I don’t mix work with pleasure” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Smart” Draco smiled weakly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry bit Draco’s collarbone playfully, who snickered. Saying goodnight felt too formal, so Draco settled for pressing a kiss into Harry’s messy hair, and doing his best to fall asleep after the man on top of him gradually became deadweight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     He isn’t sure quite when he fell asleep, and it wasn’t a restful sleep, but when he woke up the next morning with Harry openly snoring, and his limbs tangled octopus-style with Draco’s, Draco realized he had actually slept through the night. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     As he looked down at his boyfriend’s face smushed into the space next to his ribcage, he promised silently to Harry that he’d be there to help him handle his own issues, whenever they made themselves known. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     After all, for all the black-haired boy was pushy and stubborn and more often than not totally devoid of any self-preservation instincts, he was one of the only people Draco had ever met that was, totally and unconditionally, worth the effort. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay honestly this chapter wasn't even supposed to exist my brain just sharted out 'curly haired Draco and cuddly Harry' and I hnngggg </p>
<p>Thanks for readin!<br/>-V</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Literally so much Peppermint Tea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After Draco reveals his own struggles, it's time for him to see what kind of emotional trauma Harry's bringing to the table.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>     Draco opened the door to Harry’s apartment lightly. It was weird to find the apartment still, considering he was so used to Harry rushing around, filling up the space with noise and chaotic energy. It was pretty disheartening. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     He put the grocery bags down on the counter. If it was up to him, he wouldn’t have gone today as he didn’t find it necessary, but Harry had a </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing</span>
  </em>
  <span> about grocery shopping.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     Draco openly laughed as he and Harry collapsed onto the bed. Harry’s bedroom was drafty, and the March air was making the room frigid, but Draco wasn’t complaining as Harry struggled to pull his shirt over his head without having to stop kissing. Harry levered himself up until he was straddling the blond boy, removing his own shirt. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     Draco raked in the sight of the other man’s chest briefly, before surging up and biting gently at Harry’s neck, eliciting a deep groan from the other boy. He pushed Draco back down to the mattress, squeezing his thighs around Draco’s hips. Draco took a fistful of Harry’s hair and pulled his head back, going in to kiss his neck once again. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     “Oh god” Draco muttered while Harry started kissing down his chest, “Don’t-”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     “Stop!” Harry said quickly, causing Draco to release his hair and sit up, “Stop stop, what time is it?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     Draco sat up and looked at his watch. “5:45, why?” he asked curiously. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     “Dammit dammit dammit” Harry muttered as he pulled his shirt back on despite the tenting obvious in his skinny jeans. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     “Harry what in the bloody hell is happening?” Draco asked, worried he was missing something important. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     “It’s 5:45, and the supermarket closes at seven” Harry said, pulling shoes on. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     “And?” Draco asked</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     “And it’s Wednesday. I always do the groceries on Wednesday” Harry said, as if it were obvious. Draco, who was basically living in Harry’s flat at this rate, had noticed that the man always came home with bags of food on Wednesdays after work.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     “Sure, but we were kind of… in the middle of something. Can’t the shopping wait until tomorrow?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     “But… It’s Wednesday” Harry said again, looking as confused as Draco felt, “I always do the groceries on Wednesday”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     “Yeah I got that, I’m just confused as to wh-”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     “Look, I have to run to the store, okay? We’ll finish this when I get back” Harry said, kissing Draco lightly on the nose and rushing out of the bedroom. Draco sat on the side of the bed, still trying to understand what the hell just happened. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Tonight, Harry was returning from a three day long Auror mission, and Draco was slightly embarrassed to admit that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> missed the black-haired man. It had been months since he had slept without Harry. He had barely been able to sleep the past few nights, despite spending them in Harry’s bed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco may miss Harry, but he was mostly happy to see the man return because he was so bloody worried about him. Harry had always been a bit negligent when it came to taking care of himself, but as of recent he had been downright spiraling. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     He had been working a massive case at work, and it had been overtaking his life. Draco had woken up in the middle of the night and found Harry sat in the kitchen, pouring over documents for the hundredth time. After nagging him for several minutes, Harry admitted to Draco that it was a case about a Pureblood supremacist kidnapping Muggle-borns and Squibs.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry was always passionate about his work, but when it came to cases that involved Pureblood Supremacists, he was ruthless. Not only did he catch them in record time, he followed the court case, using any influence his name had to ensure that the perp was punished to the full extent of the law. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     On top of this, as the weather had warmed up, Harry had developed a manic gleam in his eyes that Draco had never seen. His normal energy was replaced with what felt like constant nervous energy, and it seemed like his hands were always fidgeting nowadays. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     This new constantly-on-edge Harry was accompanied by immense trouble sleeping. Both he and Draco had nightmares regularly, but recently Harry’s had increased both in intensity and frequency. It seemed like every other night Draco was awoken by Harry shaking and muttering on the other side of the bed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     The case had only added to this massively obvious stress. Draco wasn’t sure how to tell Harry he needed to care for himself without making it seem like he was downplaying the severity of the case. In the end he simply brought him cup after cup of tea and dragged him to bed when he was falling asleep on top of the files. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     After this raid, however, the case would finally be shut. Harry would likely be home tonight, and Draco could finally bully him into getting a good night’s sleep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     For dinner, Draco reheated some Indian takeaway and put on one of the dramatic realities that Harry had on constantly. Draco always criticized the lowbrow entertainment, but if Harry saw how much he watched now he would mock the other man into oblivion. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     When he finished eating, he decided to go through some paperwork from the home. He wasn’t waiting up for Harry. Atleast, he wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>admitting</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was. Surely this work had to be done tonight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     It wasn’t until about midnight, when Draco was on his second cup of peppermint tea, that the door finally cracked open. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry shuffled through the door, carrying his duffel bag, briefcase, and some random surveillance equipment that </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> belonged to the Auror’s Precinct. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh bloody hell</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Harry breathed, dropping the bags and walking towards Draco. When the taller boy stood up, Harry all but threw himself into his arms. Draco buried his face in Harry’s hair, breathing in the boy’s shampoo mixed with the day’s sweat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I missed you, you tall prick” Harry mumbled into Draco’s collarbone. Draco pulled back, rushing in to kiss Harry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I missed you too, Potter.” A few months ago, Draco would have been far too embarrassed to admit he’d miss the shorter man, but it’s been a while since either of them pretended what they had was in any way casual. “Are you excited that the case is finally closed?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Harry groaned, tipping his head forwards into Draco’s chest. Draco could feel small tremors coursing throughout Harry’s body, telling him that despite the ending of the case, the black-haired man was still keyed up on whatever anxiety had been flowing through him these past couple of weeks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Let’s get to bed, eh?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry followed Draco to the bedroom. Draco pulled Harry’s shirt and pants off after his shoes. He then stripped himself, following Harry into the bed. They curled around each other, Draco laying more comfortably in the bed than he had in the past few days. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Ever since that horrible year he spent locked in the manor with the Dark Lord, he had a perpetual chill running through his bones. He was lucky that his boyfriend's body was like a furnace, radiating heat through the many points of contact between the boys. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry pushed himself up, speaking between quick pecks on Draco’s lips. “Goodnight” </span>
  <em>
    <span>peck</span>
  </em>
  <span> “I missed you” </span>
  <em>
    <span>peck</span>
  </em>
  <span> “Love you” </span>
  <em>
    <span>peck</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I love you too” Draco whispered, running a hand through Harry’s hair and lightly pressing the man’s head onto his chest. Harry’s whole body was still trembling ever so slightly. He fisted a hand into the sheets, trying to stop the shaking. Draco took his hand instead, massaging the palm with his thumb until the shorter man fell asleep, Draco quickly following. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco woke suddenly, unsure as to what had woken him. As he slowly gained his bearings, he realized that Harry was sat up in the bed, sweating heavily and panting, his arms shaking as they held him up.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Harry?” Draco whispered, “You okay love?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Huh?” Harry said frantically, seeming to just remember he wasn’t alone in the bed, “Yeah. Go back to bed.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco nodded, laying back against the pillow as Harry got out of bed. He would’ve protested more, but he was still basically asleep. He was almost back to sleep totally when he heard rustling from the living room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     He got out of bed, pulling on a pair of pyjama pants. He had assumed Harry had just been going to the bathroom, but now he was concerned as to what Harry was up to. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     He furrowed his brows when he saw Harry standing by the door, wearing shoes and pulling on a jacket, despite being in only pyjama pants aside from that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Harry, what the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span> are you doing?” Draco hissed. Harry jumped a little, and spun around. He seemed far away, still clearly somewhere else in his head. Draco touched his arm lightly, shocked when Harry flinched and pulled away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “It’s Wednesday, and I totally forgot to go grocery shopping. I’ve been so caught up in the bloody case that I totally forgo-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I’m sorry” Draco cut in, “Did you just tell me you’re going to go grocery shopping? Right now?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Well yeah” Harry sputtered, ceasing in his frenzied movements, “I’ve forgotten-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Harry” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Draco insisted, holding the man’s wrist, “It’s 3 am in the </span>
  <em>
    <span>bloody</span>
  </em>
  <span> morning. What goddam grocery store are you planning on going to?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     This seemed to stop Harry, who considered the question, before shaking his head and moving again. “It’s Wednesday, and trust me Malfoy, you don’t want to go hungry, and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> hung-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>did the shopping, Harry.” Draco interrupted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “... </span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Harry asked incredulously. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Yeah” Draco said quietly, “I don’t really understand your obsession with grocery day, but I know it’s pretty bloody important to you. You were still out this evening, so I picked up some stuff on the way home from the Wizard’s Home.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “But… How did you know…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “You know I’m not just some blond floozy you’ve brought ‘round for a shag, yeah? We’re, like, proper boyfriends.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Yeah. Of course-...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I notice things, Harry. Things that are important to you are important to me, regardless of whether or not I get it”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry chewed at his cheek, his hands still shaking fiercely. Draco hesitated before taking him by the shoulder and guiding him into the kitchen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Look,” Draco said, opening the cabinets as well as the fridge, “I’ve done the shopping” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     The minute Harry laid eyes on the food inside the cupboard, the fight seemed to drain out of him completely. He slumped back against the wall, draggin a hand down his face. Draco gave him a minute, turning around to put the kettle on, pulling out two mugs and peppermint tea bags. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     When he got the water boiling, he took both mugs in one hand, extending the other to Harry, who hauled himself off the floor. They sat down at the kitchen table. Harry still had dark circles, along with mussed up hair and the glimmer of untapped nervous energy in his eyes. Draco feared he likely didn’t look much better. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco chose to remain silent, trusting that Harry would talk when he was ready. When ten minutes passed without the shorter man saying a thing, Draco broke the silence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Do you want to talk about it? You know I’m not pushing, I just want you to be happy”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I know.” Harry swallowed, “I just-... this is hard for me, I guess. I’ll talk about the war any day of the week, but talking about something I went through alone is just… different, somehow”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Take your time” Draco said, curling his pinky finger around Harry’s. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I guess it’s kind of… the opposite of you. For me, the winter feels safer because it reminds me of Hogwarts before everything went down. The first time I got to Hogwarts, it was like something out of my wildest dreams. Every summer, however, I had to return to the Dursleys. I guess I kind of associated the summer with feeling less safe, in a way?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Less safe… how?” Draco ground out. He knew Harry’s past wasn’t pretty, but they had never discussed the finer details. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Like I slept in a closet for a long time, and when I got a bed, my uncle would come in piss drunk to scream at me in the middle of the night. There wasn’t a lock on the inside of the door.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco took a moment to process. “Was there… a lock on the outside?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry’s silence was answer enough. “Did they ever hit you?” Draco asked rather bluntly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Uncle and Dudley did, a few times. Petunia was more into ‘accidentally’ bumping my arm with the hot iron, or a hot pan or something” Harry said as he turned his arm over and showed Draco a faded pink scar on his arm. For it to have lingered that long, it must have been bad when he was younger. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Jesus” Draco muttered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Then there was the food,” Harry said quietly. Draco’s ears perked up. “They never really gave me enough food. When I was five, I tried to make myself pasta, and got caught by Dudley. He screamed and made me spill boiling water down my front. When my aunt and uncle got up, they handed me the hot pot of half cooked pasta and locked me in the closet until the following morning”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco could barely contain his anger; at the Dursleys, McGonagall, Dumbledore, and anyone else who had let Harry spend more than a minute with those horrible people.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Eventually” Harry continued, “I figured out how to sneak out of the house after everyone had gone to sleep. I’d try the neighbors' doors to see which were unlocked, and grab as much food from their pantry as I could then hoard it in my closet. This became a force of habit. When I got to Hogwarts, I had perfected the art of stealing food without anyone noticing it, and it wasn’t until Ron found the mound of stasis-charmed food under my bed that he convinced me to see a mind healer about it”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Yeah?” Draco prompted him to continue when he left off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “It was hard to break the habits, especially when I was going back to the Dursley’s every year. Eventually, though, I worked out that the easiest way to reassure myself that there was always food for me was if I stuck to a regular grocery schedule. I may have gotten a bit… obsessive, but I’m sure you’d like it more than if I was still stashing food all over the apartment” Harry finished with a self-deprecating smile.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Oh” Draco breathed, trying to be comforting while also disturbed by the story, “ I suppose that explains why you’ve been so… on edge recently”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Have I?” Harry said, with furrowed brows</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco’s jaw nearly dropped, “Are you kidding? You’re practically shaking in your seat now. I just feel like you’ve normally got your life held together so tightly, and now some of it’s slipping”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I certainly try, but you’re right. I tend to get anxious in the summer. It’s always been that way”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “It doesn’t have to, though, does it?” Draco said quietly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry merely looked at him curiously. “What do you mean?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I mean that you know I love you no matter how unspooled you are, but you don’t deserve to feel so bloody uneasy every year. Have you considered returning to see the mind healer? I can give you mine’s number if you’d like. She’s helped me quite a bit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Yeah, but you lived with the Dark Lord! You’ve got </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span> trauma an-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Harry'' Draco cut him off, subconsciously scratching his dark mark. “Let’s get one thing straight. Just because our pasts are different doesn’t mean that any is more deserving of healing, okay? It took me about two years with my mind healer before I actually believed I deserved to feel better. And if an ex-death eater can deserve to feel happy, the savior of the wizard world surely does too, okay?’’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Okay” Harry smiled dopily, “You know I really fuckin’ love you, yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Good” Draco sniffed, “Because I spent about ten minutes trying to remember what kind of tea you buy, so you owe me love and a </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> good blowjob”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry laughed, perhaps a bit too hard, but he was excused because it was a very rough night. Draco took both the cups, dumping them in the sink. He grabbed Harry’s hand, dragging the boy back to bed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     They collapsed into bed together. “Right” Draco said, moving Harry’s body until they were spooning, “If we’re gonna cuddle we’re gonna do it properly.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “It’s funny” Harry said as Draco draped an arm and a leg around his body, “For someone who comes off as standoff-ish as you do, I’d never have pegged you for a cuddler” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Shut it Potter. At least I’m the big spoon. You’re the one who ought to be embarrassed” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Hey, don’t shame me Malfoy” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re </span>
  </em>
  <span>the one who started it, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>brat</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Draco hissed, barely able to suppress his smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry dug one of his heels into Draco’s shin, and in turn Draco playfully bit the nape of his neck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Merlin, Malfoy” Harry snickered, “Keep it in your pants, eh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Says the git who tried to jump my bones in the shower last week”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “You smacked me with the shampoo bottle!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I have to be constantly vigilant around you Potter. Never know when you could pounce”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “You sound like a bloody professor”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Maybe I’ll be one. Defense Against the Erotic Arts”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I like it. Perhaps I’ll floo McGonagall tomorrow and mention your idea”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I’d smack you with worse than a shampoo bottle, Potter”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Draco I’m trying to sleep in peace, so if y-mmmggh” The rest of what Harry was saying was lost as Draco shoved a hand on the boy’s mouth. He recoiled quickly with a disgusted noise when Harry licked his hand, but the wave of energy passed as soon as it had come around, and the boys yawned and settled into their ridiculously intertwined position. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry turned his head ever slightly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Thanks” He whispered “For… you know”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Groceries weren't that big a deal Potter. Just buy me dinner sometime.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “First of all, it’s a big deal to me, but also I meant just… listening, I guess? I feel like ever since I was a child everyone was talking about me being this or that so much that people forgot I was a person who wanted to be heard more than anything”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Of course” Draco nodded. After the war and the trials, everyone bearing the Malfoy name had been dragged through the mud. He understood how it felt to be talked about but never listened to. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “And now you’re here, and to you I’m not the Chosen One, I’m just Harry. And I quite appreciate it, I suppose” He finished awkwardly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Draco felt a warmth bloom in his chest. He pressed a kiss deep into Harry’s raven curls, and Harry’s head leant back ever so slightly in return. “You don’t need to thank me. I’ll always listen to you” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I love you. You should move in” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Please. I’ve been having my mail redirected here for three weeks, and we’ve had to stop making out on the bathroom counter because my hair products take up too much space. Good luck getting rid of me now, Potter”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Not likely. Although I would appreciate having some of my bathroom counter space back”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Not likely,” Draco echoed to the back of Harry’s head. He blindly groped in front of Harry’s body, tangling their fingers together. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Night Draco” Harry yawned, pulling Draco’s arm tighter around himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Night Harry” Draco repeated. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Harry would never claim that he had the best methods for dealing with his past. His bizarre sleep schedule and the nearly-alarming bottles of firewhiskey he went through were proof of that, but he had always focused on ignoring it as opposed to healing it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     After all, they all suffered in the war, right? He didn’t lose a sibling like Ron, or his parents (recently) like Hermione. For the most part, Harry kept his head down and kept his complaints to himself. After all, what was a few hours of sleep per night lost to nightmares? They all got nightmares after what they’d seen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Now, though, Draco had shoved aside some of the grief and anguish in Harry’s heart, and set up permanent residence there. Now, Harry had someone to coax him out of nightmares. Someone to make him peppermint tea and do the shopping and genuinely care what Harry has to say when he tells him what’s wrong. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     That night in Draco’s apartment those few months ago, Harry had promised Draco that he would stay because despite the relationship being new, he had truly believed Draco was worth it. Harry had been scared, though, that when Draco saw the uglier parts of him, he wouldn’t draw the same conclusion. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Now, lying in front of the blond boy with soft breaths puffing on his neck and Draco’s hand still wrapped loosely around his wrist, Harry felt some of the ever-present worry on his mind ease. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I have to try to get better</span>
  </em>
  <span> Harry thought, </span>
  <em>
    <span>If not for myself, than for him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Three years later, standing at the altar across from the most beautiful man he’d ever seen, Harry knew that every ounce of hurt and every broken edge that they both brought to the table had been worth healing, because as he recites his vows, Harry knows without a doubt in his mind that he’s prepared to spend the rest of his life with Draco, flirting and kissing and taking the piss when his hair curls up in the humidity. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     The war had taught Harry that there’s very few things in life you can do alone, but loving Draco Malfoy had taught Harry the true depth of how nice it is to have someone standing by your side, fighting every fight and carrying every bit of your hurt with them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     And more importantly, being loved by Draco had taught him that he actually deserved to have Draco in his corner. It taught him that for all the horror show that was his past, the man that came out standing on the other side was, totally and unconditionally, worth the effort. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Lol so this chapter was supposed to be the whole story, but I'm kinda glad I got carried away building up to it, because I really liked writing this story as a whole. </p>
<p>Thanks for reading lovlies &lt;3&lt;3&lt;3<br/>-V</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay I kinda love this fic and I'm excited to get it all posted. Let me know what you think!</p><p>As always, thanks for reading<br/>-V</p></blockquote></div></div>
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